Operation Homelessness has commenced. With the help of five testosterone-laden friends (thanks Rich, Sam, Sam, Chris, and Patrick), my possessions, most of them anyway, now reside in Unit 126, Blue Cube Storage, Bloomfield, Connecticut. I officially reside nowhere, about which I'm really excited.
Night #1 of Operation Homelessness (herafter referred to simply as OH) was spent at an amazing cottage on Gardner Lake (see accompanying pic for view from the house) courtesy of Mike, who also fed me. Mike, I believe you may be able to claim a charitable contribution on your taxes for both feeding and sheltering me for the night! I couldn't have had a more perfect weekend. Spent it with awesome friends at the "lake house" as I call it, including all day Sunday just being lazy.
Night #2 of OH was spent with Paulie, who gave me the most amazing gifts for my trip. Paulie, you're a gem and spent far too much on me, but I will enjoy all of it and post pics from the underwater cameras and spend every minute of the phone card on you. (Sucker!) And, I think, you too may be able to claim a charitable contribution for sheltering the homeless.
And then there was today, the 13-hour drive to New Castle, Kentucky, where I'll be sheltered by family for the next two weeks. The drive was going as smooth as it ever has, time was flying by, I was making record time, and then along about mile #675 some moron hit me. Fortunately, I don't think there's any damage. I walked back to the car to speak with said morons, and moron #2 decided she needed to throw her cigarette out on the road right in front of me before commencing conversation. (Sidebar: The first song I listened to today, just a few hours prior to the incident with aforementioned morons, from the hundreds of songs my friend Em gave me before I left, was "Shitlist" by L7 from the Natural Born Killers soundtrack--I should mention it was on shuffle, this was not my particular choice.) So, of course, what I want to quote to moron #2 are the lyrics from this particular song that I've just learned: "When I get mad and I get pissed, I grab my pen and write out a list of all the people that won't be missed. You've made my shitlist" because of course not only did moron #1 hit me, moron #2 has just committed an act that tops my pet peeve list--throwing cigarettes out the car window. (Note to smokers, some of whom I love dearly: Keep your crap in your car!) Since I didn't say what I wanted to say then, I'll say it now, Syriel of Marion, OH has just made my shitlist!
Anyway, I asked moron #2 for their information because who knows what might be wrong with the car even though it looks fine. A cop showed up right along the time that we were finishing, so I asked him to file a report to which she replied that they were on their way to the hospital to admit her (for something else apparently). Needless to say, the cop required she stick around long enough for him to gather information. Given that she wasn't too keen on doing this, I'm glad he showed up.
The rest of the 858-mile trip was uneventful, though I did take two pics for the viewing enjoyment of anyone who doesn't reside in the wonderful state of Kentucky. (Who's scared that I was both driving and taking pics at the same time? Paulie?) The first is the water tower as you drive through Florence, Kentucky, which you can see clearly states "Florence Ya'll," which is proof that they teach us young. The second is the sign for a most wonderful state park named (and I think Cat and Geoff may enjoy this most) "Big Bone Lick State Park." If I didn't have the photo as proof, I don't think anyone would believe me. Yes, non-Kentucky residents, this is what it means to reside in the South.
But I'll leave you with this parting thought from the great state of Ohio, which is also the state where moron #1 and moron #2 reside. Two homemade billboards in quick succession:
Billboard #1: If you died today where would you spend ETERNITY?
Billboard #2: HELL IS REAL.
Really now? Does someone have firsthand knowledge? Cause I'd like to meet the fellow that does. As for me, well, I'm not really into scare tactics. The signs did, however, give me a nice little chuckle and made me really glad that I'm not taking up residence in Ohio.
