The memory of my first night in Costa Rica is still vivid: sitting at a computer chatting online with a dozen friends of so, panicking. Literally. What the hell was I thinking? I couldn´t even communicate much with the taxi driver, and my first real pat on the back that I gave myself was when I was able that afternoon to ask for and buy a phone card in Spanish. Fluency seemed a distant, distant goal that I might never achieve, particularly if I didn´t muster up the courage to stay put long-term.
Thirteen months later I marvel at my ability to have a conversation in Spanish, at times with apparent ease. Someone asked me a couple of days ago here at the hotel if I´m fluent. And I had to say, what is fluency? Does anyone ever reach fluency who isn't a native speaker? Perhaps, but not within 13 months. Am I satisfied with my ability to converse after this period of time? Absolutely.
Several times a week at least, I end a conversation and walk away thinking, Did I really just have a conversation in Spanish that easily? At times the words flow easily, at times I stumble, at times I self-correct, and of course at times I make mistakes that I don´t know I´m making. And ¨como?¨ as in, ¨What did you say?¨ is still one of the most-oft used words in my vocabulary, but I make progress every day.
Back in December I was studying in Ecuador and living with a family. My second week another student, Suse, joined me, who spoke much less Spanish than I, and our ¨mother¨ would often ask me to translate. I was flattered and shocked. It happened again last night, when I was asked to translate for my boss. One would think I´d be used to it by now, but I still found myself wondering, Really, is this me translating? Have I really come that far? (Of course, switching between two languages is an art, as I´m learning. When I finish one conversation in Spanish with another staff member and then turn to guests and continue speaking in Spanish, it´s not surprising that they´ll sometimes say, ¨In English, please.¨ I simply forget with whom I´m talking!)
The truth is I´ve worked hard to get to this point. Those weeks when I was studying I put every ounce of energy I had into studying and learning new words. Now it´s more about living it every day and trying to remember the new words I hear or new phrases. Or those dang direct and indirect objects--I know how to use them, but putting them in before the verb . . . well, the verb just pops out of my mouth before I can remember to stick in the lo, le, la, etc. And I´ve worked very hard, too, to not sound American when I speak Spanish. There´s no way to distinguish this in the blog, but it´s very obvious when an American is either a) not trying to speak Spanish well, or b) just doesn´t have a knack for languages.
Someone recently told me that they thought I was from the States but weren´t completely sure because I didn´t sound like an American speaking Spanish. Thank you, I try very hard. And another woman, clearly an American, popped in the other night from her apartment upstairs to let me know there was no water, could I please tell the boss. She tried, with much difficulty, to speak Spanish to me until she finally heard me speaking English with someone else. ¨You speak English?¨ I had fooled her. She didn´t know I wasn´t a native. For me, it was the ultimate compliment.
The language journey hasn´t ended. It most certainly never will. As my dad always told me, you can´t fool all of the people all of the time, but you can fool some of the people some of the time. Dad, I´m doing it--fooling some of the people some of the time. After 13 months, I´m pretty happy with that.
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